It was a weird week of football for the NFL, prefaced with a secretive “Marv Harrison has been traded, but, um, as for the details, well, you see…”
…then we moved on to a complete debacle at the end of the Giants-Commanders OT game…
…before ending the week on a bonkers roller-coaster ride between Buffalo and LA:
Most of The Terrible Ten was equally bonkers, but before we get to the exciting games, we have to wade through a couple of our usual turds. First up, my QB Farm Team got back to their losing ways, suffering an embarrassing loss to Packer Hater, 87.64 – 189.90. While the loss was not surprising, the manner in which Alex is winning in 2026 is impressive. This marks the second time in five weeks he’s put up an all-time score, most recently notching the fourth spot overall. Can his Man of Steel (a QB Farm Team alum, I might add) keep this train a’rolling, or will he derail when it counts? Guess it depends on which version of “John” Allen we get down the stretch.
My compatriots on The Poo Patrol — Science Walrus and Buzzystinger — played each other in a matchup of the resistible force versus the moveable object. Someone had to come out on top, I guess, and the (un)lucky winner was Science Walrus, who swatted Buzzy, 100.60 – 69.80. Ole Bryon was a lost cause from the get-go this season, but Brent has to wonder what could have been if he’d dodged the injury bug AND Drake Maye could have had massive 40-point games the first few weeks like he did this past weekend. Geesh.
The Analrapists have been trying to build some momentum all season, and despite poor QB play in Week Five, it looked like Ted might have enough juice to sneak past Living the Nightmare. But then that wild MNF game happened, and Johnnie’s Kyren-Stafford tag-team went for 44 points in an OT thriller, sneaking the Nightmare past the Analrapists, 111.66 – 95.70. Can’t say I’m thrilled to see Johnnie actually trying this season — I need that 2027 1st rounder to be juicy! — but with the win he finds himself back in the playoff race. As for Ted, well, it’s one step forward, two steps back, my friend.
There was a time when I was the possessor of a lucky horseshoe, leaving me victorious in matchups I had no business winning. It appears Urban Achievers is now the proud owner of that talisman, as he keeps winning tight battles that could easily go the other way. Not to take anything away from Redman — his team put up a helluva score with 138.60 — but Growler Prowler’s Puka-Cook duo went for 51 points on MNF, and only needed one more measly point in a full session of overtime to pull out the win; ultimately, Scott fell just short with only 137.82. Oof. Redman is now among the pile of teams at 4-1 despite having over 200 less Points For than each of the other three teams…but I’m telling you guys, DON’T SLEEP ON THE HORSESHOE!
Perhaps the matchup of the entire season, and a potential preview of the Super Bowl, is the undefeated Evil Empire against current champ ZaWood. Both teams have been steamrolling the league with their high-powered offenses and overall good health to this point. Unfortunately for Skeletor, his Dak-Lamb stack put him behind the 8-ball after a lackluster TNF performance. Scotty made it interesting with massive games from Warren and Watson, but the Woodster’s staying power was too much this week, toppling the almighty Evil Empire, 157.54 – 145.22, and retaking the top spot in the league! As you might imagine, Zach was pretty excited after his victory, taking a quick moment to polish his knob…
…before giving Scott one final shot to close out the week.
More Sunday morning games and bye weeks. Watch those lineups!
Still need three payments. Info is in the pinned message in the Sleeper chat.
Best of luck in Week Six, fellas!
Andy
