Another week, another bevy of injuries. The volume is incredible this season, and even worse, many are happening right at the starts of games. This week we had players like Barkley, Reed, and Dart go out almost immediately, leaving glaring holes in starting lineups. It’s bad enough in season-long games, but doing DFS and guillotines creates some early exits that otherwise wouldn’t have happened, making Sundays more frustrating than ever.
Perhaps the best way to handle a season like this is to emulate the QB Farm Team: out of it from the get-go. Yeah, I have a half-dozen guys on IR already, and another couple week-to-week players, but I was never gonna win anyway. That’s doubly true when playing against Evil Empire, who has largely gone unscathed (only Nico is down-and-out so far) and has enough horses to make up for any injuries. His double-up of my squad, 169.66 – 83.40, has him sitting pretty at 2-0 in the standings. Being the superstitious type, Skeletor went back to the grocery store after the game, wanting to maintain his streak of good luck with his wide-open spread offense.
Why did I invite Unnamed Team Johnnie into this damned league?! After securing many of his predecessor’s draft picks, I’d been hoping he’d roll over and give me some early picks the next couple years (especially in 2027). Instead, he took advantage of Science Walrus losing Dart early, the Saints never using Etienne despite his preseason payday, and London being saddled with garbage QBs to win the week, 133.34 – 86.32. In the end, Brent’s still without a win, I’m losing draft capital, and an anonymous team keeps scoring points. Who is this person wreaking havoc on The Terrible Ten?!
The Heartbreaker of the Week goes to The Analrapists vs Urban Achievers. Redman’s been bitten by the injury bug early and often, many times mid-matchup. With Bowers and Harvey out ahead of time, and Daniels injured badly during his rivalry game with the Cowboys, it was all there on a silver platter for Ted. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong TE in his starting lineup AND chose a second TE for his superflex spot over one of his starting QBs, giving Urban Achievers an unearned victory, 96.02 – 92.28. Gone is a chance to keep Ted in lockstep with the other 2-0 teams; worse, gone is a chance to bury Redman with us 0-2 losers. Hate seeing the league villain get an extra chance at life.
Don’t look now, but Packer Hater has quietly staked his claim as the best team in the league. His dynamic duo of Josh Allen and Ken Walker has put up 60+ points each of the past two weeks, which is a nice way to start any matchup. Normally that would be needed when going up against Growler Prowler, who has ridden his Ravens-heavy squad to numerous wins. Unfortunately for Scott, LJax and Henry had ho-hum days, and Flowers was ruled out pre-game, leaving him short, 103.38 – 147.20. In typical Growler Prowler fashion, he drowned his sorrows in the bottom of a bottle…maybe a little too much, this week.
And last, there may not be a bigger forgone-conclusion game in our league’s history than ZaWood squashing Buzzystinger, 123.84 – 54.44. In truth, it’s a shame there were some backup QBs on the waiver wire this week because Buzzy had a chance at low-score immortality if Drew Lock hadn’t earned 21.40 points. Oh well. Buzzy’s bad like me and Brent; ZaWood’s good like Alex and Scotty; and the reigning champ is still the swinging dick of this league.
Best of luck in Week Three, fellas!
Andy
