I can’t speak for teams that actually have good players on them, but my Sleeper notifications on Sunday looked more like an infirmary roster than a highlight reel. Each time my phone beeped I thought I’d be seeing a big play, only to read the name of the latest player to bite the dust. Injuries … More 2021 Week One Recap

Well, lookie what we have here! Redman was kind enough to grace us with his 2021 Power Rankings. Even better, he created a cryptoquip that confused some of you with his allusions (which made it twice as funny for me). I’ve moved his essay from our group chat to the blog so it can be … More 2021 Power Rankings

Figured I better finish this thing off before the season starts tomorrow, or it would never get done. Ready? Let’s go! The Analrapists 1.06 – Zach Wilson, QB (NYJ) 2.06 – Kenneth Gainwell, RB (PHI) 3.10 – Chuba Hubbard, RB (CAR) It seems like the least-surprising pick of the draft – Ted, always desperate at … More 2021 Rookie Draft Report Card (Part 2)

What better time to review The Terrible Ten Rookie Draft than, um, almost four months after the fact!? LET’S GO!!! My apologies for the delay. It proved to be a long summer. We sold our house (had 20+ showings in the first 24 hours, and sold it the day after we listed it) and moved … More 2021 Rookie Draft Report Card (Part 1)

…not 4, not 5, but 6 — count ‘em, SIX! That’s the number of touchdowns Alvin Kamara scored against the hapless, pathetic, horrific Vikings defense in the first game of Week Sixteen. And it could have been even worse! How on earth does that happen?! At some point you almost have to put everyone on … More 2020 Week Sixteen Recap

Before we begin, can I just state for the record how much I like it when knuckleheads get their comeuppance (even if, in this case, it’s one of my players)? On Sunday, Vonn Bell had this to say about Juju Smith-Schuster’s penchant for dancing on opposing teams’ logos in pregame warmups. So, of course, Juju … More 2020 Week Fifteen Recap

Before we recap this week’s action, I need to get something off my chest. Fantasy football is essentially Dungeons & Dragons for people who like sports more than orcs. There are obviously many, many things more important than this game we play together. That being said, fantasy football has grown into a multi-billion dollar industry. … More 2020 Week Fourteen Recap

And just like that, we’ve come to the final week of the regular season. While some of us will continue competing in the playoffs, this marks the final time we’ll have a full slate of games. Already I’ve heard the wailing and gnashing of teeth as the reality of the losers’ situation dawns on them. … More 2020 Week Thirteen Recap

Before the season started, I figured it would be pandemonium from week to week as the virus worked itself across the league. Frankly, I’m stunned it took so long for it to happen, but Week Twelve finally showed us what a cluster things could be. Ravens-Steelers got bounced from Thursday to Sunday to Monday to … More 2020 Week Twelve Recap

Welllllll, fuck. Last week’s news that MN was back to being locked down was already a helluva body blow (even though the move was understandable given the state of our hospitals). Unfortunately, it was followed up by a nut shot when our kids’ school district announced they’re shutting down in-person learning until the first full … More 2020 Week Eleven Recap