I’m sorry, maybe it’s my old age or my MS brain fog, so I’ll need some help remembering. Was it just last week that I wrote about the Vikings playing an all-time bad game? One unlike anything I’d seen in my 49 years on this planet?! Apologies, JJ. I didn’t have the foresight to see that something worse was on the way so soon:
Or, said another way:
Then again, I can’t really say much when the QB Farm Team is in last place this season, looking very Vikings-like from week to week. I mean, I *did* live up to my name this season by snatching QB1 Jacoby Brissett off the scrap heap…but the roster is mighty thin after that. Not that it mattered one way or the other when I went up against Urban Achievers, whose Points For is crushing the rest of the league. This week was no different, driving QB Farm Team into the turf, 146.68 – 94.48, and locking up a playoff spot in hopes of defending Gertrude’s (dis)honor. Initially Redman was bummed about missing out on a first-round bye, but then he realized that if things stay the same, he’ll be playing Science Walrus in a couple weeks, and everybody knows…
Speaking of everyone’s favorite sea donkey, Science Walrus took control of his destiny by cornholing The Analrapists, 117.04 – 72.72. The win snuck Brent into the playoffs, thanks in no small part to the late-season heroics of WRs Rashee Rice and AJ Brown. Time will tell if he can get the one-and-done monkey off his back. As for Ted, his squad has now lost eight games in a row thanks to the same old story: his best QB option is usually on the bench, and his star WR has been a WR6 over the past four weeks. Not *THE* WR6…**A** WR6. 😳
The game of the week goes to Growler Prowler barrrrrrely outlasting Packer Hater, 103.32 – 102.78. Both teams are in the playoffs at 8-5 and will now jockey for final seating, yet even though the records are the same, they’re going in different directions. Growler Prowler is finishing the season strong, winning each of the past three weeks, whereas Packer Hater is limping to the finish line with two losses in a row. Here’s hoping Alex gets his squad back on track before everyone passes him down the stretch.
Our 3 through 6 seeds still have some work to do before their final placements are known, but we have two teams that have locked up the bye weeks. First, Evil Empire continued his league domination while ending Puff’s Punishers’ playoff hopes, 150.14 – 82.62. Scotty’s focused on wresting Gertie away from Redman, while Puffy is praying that another year of age on his decrepit vets, paired with no draft capital, will somehow bring him back to relevance in 2026.
And last, ZaWood has risen like a phoenix from the ashes, laying waste to the league in 2025 while giving hope to losers like me that it *is* possible to build a winner from nothing. It was “situation normal” this week as he sprayed Buzzystinger, 104.58 – 55.14, keeping pace with the Empire and finishing his season strong. Pretty soon Buzzy can start diverting some attention to his pile of picks in the 2026 draft. As for the Woodster, there’s still work to be done, but with the bye nailed down he decided it was ok to blow off a little steam at the beach before getting back to it. Good for Zach. I’ve never seen him so cocksure.
Hard to believe, but the season is coming to a close. Back to some byes this week, so watch those rosters. Best of luck in Week Fourteen, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 