I turned 49 years old this year. I grew up in a house that religiously watched the Vikings every week, so I’ve seen most of the games they’ve played over the last 45ish years. I’ve been through the various ups and downs the Minnesota football team has offered its fans over the years, and I have to say this past Sunday was one of the worst games I’ve ever seen. In a week where Green Bay also looked abysmal outside of RB Emanuel Wilson, the Vikes were embarrassed on both sides of the ball, unable to stop the aforementioned backup RB while also looking completely inept on offense. Not even an appearance from a champion like Urban Achievers could inspire the purple-and-gold. My oh my, are we a far cry from last year’s team.
Then again, it’s been kind of a topsy-turvy season in general. Last year my beloved QB Farm Team was locking down a first-round bye on its way to a third 2nd place finish in the Super Bowl, while ZaWood was dealing with a flaccidity issue that not even high doses of viagra could fix. This year? Well, my 76.50 – 158.20 loss to ZaWood shows we have very much changed places, keeping me at the bottom of the standings while the Woodster keeps pounding every mf that steps to him.
My opponent in last year’s Super Bowl — reigning champ, Urban Achievers — is in the midst of an odd season too. Even though he’s got the most Points For by a fair margin, he somehow finds himself back in 4th place. And, with another loss this week to Science Walrus, 106.58 – 136.22, it appears he’s now out of the running for a first-round bye. That sucks, but would you believe there’s a chance he could miss the playoffs entirely?! I mean, it seems unlikely unless I somehow play spoiler next week, but how crazy would that be?! Gotta admit, the revenge angle has me so horny, Red. Just sayin’.
Let’s see, what else do we have? Oh! Perennial regular-season beast, Puff’s Punishers, finds himself on the outside looking in this year. Numerous injuries coupled with sub-par play from some of his studs has Josh on the edge of missing the playoffs for the first time in quite awhile. Back to the wall, his tandem of Hurts and St Brown helped the Punishers blow past Packer Hater, 108.72 – 82.56, keeping his playoff hopes alive…for now. As for Alex, the tough loss makes it all but impossible for him to get a playoff bye. Not what he wanted, but it’s still been a nice season for Packer Hater, moving from the consolation bracket last year to a chance for a ‘ship this year.
Another role reversal this season has been The Analrapists, who went from being a top last season at 9-5 to being a bottom this year, losing his seventh straight matchup, 84.88 – 109.64, to Evil Empire. Even on a week when he hits the lotto with Emanuel Wilson’s 25.50, Ted couldn’t cash in. Part of that is not being able to figure out which QB is going to score from week to week; part of it is his pair of Vikings WRs who are turning into ghosts because of McCarthy. Now, one would think that Evil Empire would get used to all his wins, and would be turned off by The Analrapists’ dried-out husk after such a terrible stretch of football, but you’d be wrong. Scotty is…well, Scotty is rather insatiable.
The one matchup that bucks this trend is Growler Prowler vs Buzzystinger. Coming into the year we knew Growler Prowler was historically better than Buzzy, and that held true in Week Twelve, with the Prowler squashing Buzzy, 115.10 – 65.00, in a pretty ho-hum battle. Barring a catastrophe, the win all but guarantees a playoff berth for Scott. Here’s hoping his celebration this week isn’t too over the top, leading him to take just enough steps backward that he puts himself in trouble down the stretch.
Just a reminder that we have a weird schedule this week, including three games on Thanksgiving and one on Black Friday. I know people get busy, but try to keep an eye on those lineups. Only two more weeks in the regular season!
Also, I have a couple guys that still need to pay their league fee of $50. Contact info is in the pinned message in the Sleeper chat.
Best of luck in Week Thirteen, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 