I mean, I don’t even know what to say anymore. This game has changed from “fantasy football” to “survive the IR apocalypse” in a big damned hurry. And boy-oh-boy these injuries are gnarly this year. Nabers blowing up his knee on a jump-ball was bad, but then Tyreek said “Hold my beer” and proceeded to dislocate his knee and shred everything around it. Blargh.
We saw the injury bug directly impact the matchup between Packer Hater and Growler Prowler. In what turned out to be the game of the week, Packer Hater just eeked past the league lush, 138.04 – 136.72. Could Alex have gotten more out of Bucky and Pearsall if they hadn’t been hurt? Who knows. But Scott *definitely* would have had more points if LJax hadn’t been sidelined with a hammy, leaving Growler Prowler to search the bottom of his glass for answers to what-might-have-been after the tough loss.
One might think a team could take advantage of Urban Achievers’ current shortcomings. I mean, he was already down Daniels, and Chase has been a ghost since Burrow went out, and then he lost Nabers mid-game this past week. Sadly, my own catastrophic loss of Mooney allowed Urban Achievers to barely sneak by, 120.50 – 82.48. Such a lucky bastard that he got me at a down moment. I’m putting you on notice, Red. You better hope we don’t meet in the Super Bowl again this year, or I’m…I’m…I’m…!
Another ass I want to kick is Buzzy’s, after he left McLaurin in his lineup despite plenty of notice (Jaylen Warren at gametime, this was not). Cmon, man! Other people wanna be the worst of the worst too! In the end, I can’t be too upset because Buzzy’s roster is as desolate as mine, losing in a near triple-up to ZaWood, 58.16 – 156.62. With the high score of the week and three wins in a row, it appears Zach is at full throb and ready to make some music.
Speaking of scoring, who’s that shooting up the leaderboard?! Why, it’s Science Walrus, winner of two in a row, his latest victim the ankle-grabbing Analrapists, who took it deeeeeep to the tune of 143.10 – 94.56. With rookies like Hampton, Egbuka, and Warren leading the way, the sky’s the limit for Brent. And, with matchups against QB Farm Team and Buzzystinger in two of the next three weeks, let’s just say Science Walrus is pretty, pretty, pretty excited about his chances.
With early-season losses for Alex, Red, and Zach, and this week’s heartbreaker for Scott of the Growler Prowlers, the path was wide open for Evil Empire to sit alone atop The Terrible Ten. It wasn’t gonna be easy going up against the perennial firepower of Puff’s Punishers…but then Detroit’s offense leaned on Gibbs, taking Goff and Montgomery out of play, followed by Tyreek’s leg falling off on MNF, and suddenly Evil Empire is right back where he always is: sitting on the throne, looking down at the rest of us losers. Sigh. Not to be outdone by Brent’s underwater antics, Skeletor decided to show the marine life who’s truly king of the sea.
Another early-morning Sunday game, as well as bye weeks for four teams. Get those rosters set accordingly. Best of luck in Week Five, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 