Annnnnnnnnd, we’re back. Not sure about the rest of you fellas, but damn, did that offseason go fast or what?! Feels like only yesterday Redman owned my ass in the Terrible Ten Super Bowl (which I still haven’t gotten a nameplate for, because fuck that guy AND my third 2nd-place finish in six years).
Anyway, last night I went down a rabbit hole and somehow ended up looking at Nico Collins’ history in TT. In hindsight, he’s been involved in some truly terrible trades over the years. It started here between me and Packer Hater:
This looks silly now, but Nico did nothing in his rookie season, so understandable that it was so low.
Now look at these swaps between me and Redman. Again, Nico still hadn’t done anything by the time I unloaded him, and had barely done anything when Redman sent him back, but still, talk about two awful trades:
I’m hoping Red doesn’t mind my sharing his thoughts on this when I pointed it out last night, but it really couldn’t be summed up any better:
What does this have to do with anything? Not much, other than that I traded Nico this offseason to Evil Empire, my opponent this week:
Here’s hoping this proves to be another lopsided trade in the future. Nico surely didn’t live up to his potential this week, scoring a measly 4 points (Yes!), but on my side of the matchup, I started Stroud with his pathetic 8 points (No!), so we both felt the burn. Unfortunately for QB Farm Team, it was a common theme on the day, whereas Evil Empire roll-baby-rolled his way to a 109.64 – 88.90 victory. Congrats, Scotty. Happy to see your star is shining brightly again this season.
Speaking of Redman, aka The Two-Time TT Champ, aka My Big Daddy, he was fairly quiet this offseason. Made a few moves here and there, but mostly minor tweaks. Then again, when you’re a Super Bowl winner with a fairly stacked team of young talent, do you need to do much?! Certainly not this week against Puff’s Punishers, who put together a nice tally, but not nice enough to get past the Under Achievers, who won 138.84 – 122.78. The worst part? Red scored almost 140 points…with nothing from Chase and almost nothing from Nabers.
Fantasy football is all about mitigating risk and trying to find a sure thing. Not easy to do, but it’s generally agreed upon that life’s certainties include death, taxes, and a good-on-paper-bad-in-play Science Walrus squad. Stuck behind the 8-ball quickly (AJ Brown ghosted on TNF, Worthy injured immediately on FNF), he wasn’t able to overcome a massive week from the retooled Packer Hater squad, losing 76.80 – 123.94. There were some bright spots for Brent though — first, Etienne had a nice game reminiscent of his breakout year in 2023, and second, his rookies all had major volume and played well, especially Egbuka down in TB. If only he was, you know, active.
Being in last place sucks. Being in last place AND not having your pick in the following draft is as bad as it gets (folks in the Tecmo dynasty league know I’ve done it over there as much as I’ve had second-place finishes over here). That was the fate that befell Buzzystinger this past year. Fortunately for him, he had a pile of other picks and was able to add some talent; unfortunately for him, his mix of rookies and aging vets (Chubb, Flacco, and Thielen, to name a few) were not enough to overcome The Analrapist, losing 72.52 – 103.04. If I were a betting man, I’d guess this will happen more often than not for poor Bryon this year, not that I can talk, being I’ll be battling him for league doormat. The real test will come in Week 9, when we play each other to see who gets the win, thereby ruining our chance for 1.01 in the 2026 draft.
Can you imagine being ZaWood this offseason? Already sitting on bonafide studs like Bijan, Burrow, BTJ, and McConkey…adding Gibbs to pair with BRob in the backfield…drafting rookies like Hunter and Loveland…finally, mercifully, putting all the pieces together and KNOWING that 2025 is gonna be The Year of the Rager…and then Growler Prowler shows up, grins like a Champ who’s been-there-done-that, and says:
…before flirting with double-up territory en route to a 167.98 – 95.16 victory?! I guess it shouldn’t be shocking given Zach’s bad luck throughout TT’s history, but damn, that HAD to hurt.
It’s good to be back! Best of luck in Week Two, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 