This past week or so was kind of a catch-22: on one hand, it sucked to be off the grid with a phone that shit the bed, keeping me from joining the chat during The Terrible Ten championship; on the other hand, there may not be a more lopsided loss in all of FF history, so perhaps it was the universe’s way of softening the blow?
I saved that screenshot when my QB Farm Team had roughly 30 total points from the first six (SIX!) players that played Wednesday through Sunday. Looking back on 2024, I’d only been under 100 points a single time all year, finishing with a 122-point weekly average. Going back across the history of The Terrible Ten, no team had scored less than 100 points in their Super Bowl matchup. And there I was, six of my nine players finished, and I had 30 fucking points!!
Some of it was poor play (Kupp for 3.4, Nico for 7.4) and some of it was bad luck (Conner for 1.8 and Ford for 2.2, both injured early and didn’t come back). Regardless, when I had one player shit the bed on Wednesday and another do the same on Thursday, I knew my damned week was over before the real games even began.
Fortunately for me, Purdy, Goff, and Gibbs came to play on MNF, so while I wasn’t close to winning, I was able to break 100 points and save a little face. Cause after all, we’re all about moral victories here in Minnesota, right?!
All that whining aside, I have to give credit where credit is due: Redman, per usual, has a helluva team. As if weapons like CMC, Chase, Hall, and AJ Brown aren’t already an embarrassment of riches, Urban Achievers drafted some studs this preseason. While the hype was on Harrison going into the season, it was guys like Nabers and Daniels that became every-week starters, and they both shined in the championship game, scoring almost 65 points between the two of them. Or, in other terms, one of them was worth more than my first six guys!
It’s true my team shit the bed in colossal fashion, but even if it hadn’t, Urban Achievers put up a big score of 148.22 to my paltry 114.40, so it was going to be tough for me to win regardless. Red has a good team, a team that was top-three in scoring, a team that scored 100 points more than me on the season and didn’t rely on scheduling smoke-and-mirrors to get the job done…and now, a team that’s the best in The Terrible Ten for 2024.
To the league:
To Red, who will receive Gertrude the Trophy along with his three-year-old DNA residue:
Pivoting to the 3rd place Battle of the Scotts, Growler Prowler snuck past Evil Empire, 148.22 – 140.50, earning back his $50 entrance fee and sending him into the offseason with a good taste in his mouth. I mean, that taste is likely $50 worth of beer, but hey, better that than nothing, amiright?!
And with that, the season has come to a close. As I mentioned in the chat, I’ve setup the 2025 draft order, divvied out the FAAB, and added the two new taxi-squad spots. Trades are now available, so feel free to send me awful deals for broken-down players in exchange for 1.05. Otherwise, enjoy the break and we’ll see you all later this spring for the draft!
Best of luck this offseason, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 