Week Five saw me bumble through a newsletter with some serious writer’s block, followed by a Week Six newsletter that I couldn’t get to fast enough. The desire to (try to) roast those AI podcasters was strong, and I felt like I was on fire. Sadly, the pendulum has swung back the other way this week. I have no idea how to introduce this newsletter. Can’t really drum up a funny theme with something football-related (real or fantasy). Don’t really feel like talking politics, despite the daily fodder. Nothing really stuck in my craw in my day-to-day life. Gotta face facts: I suck at intros this season.
One thing I don’t suck at is fantasy football. Going into the week, I’d have bet the mortgage I’d beat reigning champ, Evil Empire, and do it handily. And going into MNF, down 15 points and facing Mike Evans, I’d have bumped it to a year’s worth of mortgage payments that *checks notes* Otton and Conner would be more than enough firepower to win the week.
Ok, so yeah, I didn’t think my QB Farm Team had a snowball’s chance in hell, so much so that I went to bed while the games were still ongoing and found out I’d won 100.62 – 94.86 on Tuesday morning. What a way to wake up!
[Big Head was asleep; Junior knew what was up.]
The matchup of the week ended up being Puff’s Punishers versus The Analrapists. Josh took a commanding lead into MNF, up roughly 42 points when the night began. However, Ted still had his Mayfield-Godwin stack as well as Likely. Seemed like a solid bet his could evaporate that deficit, but a gruesome injury to Godwin AND having the wrong BAL TE this week left The Analrapists just short, 106.98 – 108.44. Ole Ted must not have paid attention to my team this season: using BAL in the TE slot leaves your end…
While the score was on the low side, Urban Acheivers and Packer Hater found themselves in a battle as well. Alex had a shot going into MNF, needing 13 from McBride. Unfortunately, even though the yardage was there, the necessary TD was missing, leaving Alex on the outside looking in, 93.70 – 99.60. Another TE coming up short, another team feeling it in the backside. That kind of week, I guess.
Despite the awful record, Buzzystinger has more grit than I expected this season. I mean, he’s still bottom of the barrel in points, so it’s not surprising to see him in the cellar. But unexpected points from guys like Hunt and Flacco have kept him in the mix week to week. That being said, it takes a roster full of studs to take down Growler Prowler this year, and Buzzy just doesn’t have the horses, er, hornets, losing 108.06 – 130.70 to the league’s top dog. At 6-1, the only score high enough to take down the Prowler this season might be his own BAC after celebrating all these wins.
And last, I knew we’d finally get to congratulate ZaWood after seeing this in the weekly Sleeper recap!
Always a good sign when you’re in the top-three scorers for the week. Unless, of course, this happens:
Wouldn’t you know it, Science Walrus finally woke up at the midpoint of the season, outduelling ZaWood on MNF and winning, 127.54 – 109.56. Said it before, and I’ll say it again: MFing Woodster can’t buy a damned win.
Best of luck in Week Eight, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 