Not sure about you fellas, but after three weeks this is already starting to feel like a grind. Star players are on IR for lengthy periods of time, or are completely missing the boat points-wise in favor of other lesser-known teammates. I haven’t felt this bruised and battered since the Super Bowl in TT’s second season, when I told Evil Empire to eat my ass and he proceeded to whoop me for his first ‘ship.
I mean, I suppose I should be thankful that my squad eeked out its first win, 101.38 – 96.90, against Packer Hater. It was nice to stay in the thick of it and get the victory, especially after getting a bagel from Mark “I Hate Alex So Much I Pooped A Little” Andrews, but I’m honest enough to admit the only reason I snuck past him is because the Bills let their foot off the pedal in the second half of MNF. Oh well. A win is a win, sucka.
Speaking of the aforementioned Evil Empire, Scotty found himself in an early-season dual with arch nemesis, Urban Achievers. Neither team would admit they cared — save the drama for playoff time, and all that jazz — but deep down we all know these two wanted to piss in the corners and stake their claim to Terrible Ten Territory. In what became a dogfight right down to the bitter end, Redman’s MNF combo of Ja’marr Chase and Jayden Daniels was too much for The Champ, giving Urban Achievers a 130.24 – 123.94 victory and sole possession of 1st place as the only undefeated team left in the league.
In what turned out to be a slugfest, Puff’s Punishers defeated Science Walrus, 154.74 – 128.70, thanks in large part to 100+ points from his RBs (Barkley, Williams, Montgomery, and Jones). Someday the bottom will fall out with these aging vets, but for now, Josh is back to his winning ways. As for The Walrus, he’s back in free fall when it’s an opponent not named Buzzy.
After stumbling out of the gate in Week One (shocking behavior from the league lush), Growler Prowler is back to his winning ways, notching his second win in a row, 139.96 – 96.78. On the opposite end of the spectrum, The Analrapists lost for the first time after opening the season 2-0. Ole Ted was hoping to strike fear in his opponent; little did he know, Scott wasn’t afraid of what The Analrapists were peddling.
And last, who knew that the most exciting matchup of the week would come from…ZaWood versus Buzzystinger?! I think the whole league has Buzzy penciled in as the worst of the worst this season, but lo and behold, Bryon found a little Monday-Night Magic in Week Three. Despite the Bengals having the ball for the final drive, ZaWood couldn’t come up with the single point needed from Burrow/Higgins to save face and win his matchup. Instead, Buzzy got the surprising victory, 86.34 – 85.68, leading this commish to wonder if there isn’t a little collusion going on between these two teams. I’ll be keeping an eye on you, ZaWood.
Best of luck in Week Four, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 