The Terrible Ten

Gonna hit the pause button on fantasy football for a moment to talk about Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday of the year. Yes, part of it is the buffet of amazing food for a fat bastard like myself, but it’s more than that. I’m perhaps the least philosophical person on the planet, but for one day anyway, I like to take time to dwell on all the things I’m thankful for. I’d be hard-pressed to come up with anything to complain about in this life (other than being trophy-less in FF): I’m married to the love of my life, have some pretty great kids, I work a job I’ve been fortunate to do for close to 25 years now (complete with a boss for the ages in Evil Empire, and that’s no joke). I have a roof over my head, dorky printed tees on my person, food and drink aplenty, and a good book never too far from reach. Life hasn’t been without some hiccups along the way — some minor, some oh-so-major — but overall, this life has been…

This league is another thing I’m thankful for. My relationships with you run the gamut — people like Puff’s Punishers and Urban Achievers I’ve known my whole life; others like Ted and the two Scotts I know from work; the rest are relationships that have sprung up from playing this game we all love (and sometimes hate). It’s a good group of guys we have here in The Terrible Ten. I thank you for coming along for this ride and being a part of such a fun, competitive league with me. You guys truly are the best.

It appears this season’s FF chaos is bleeding over into real life this year. As I type this (Tuesday afternoon) I’m sick as a frickin’ dog *and* the heating element blew up in our oven. Never a good thing when we’re supposed to host Thanksgiving dinner in less than 48 hours…but we’ll call an audible and make something that’s at least Second Place by meal standards.

And with that, I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. Be safe on the road if you’re traveling around. May you build memories with your friends and family. May your turkey breast not get all dried out in the oven. And may your Thursday plays all pan out for you.

Back to FF, last week’s Thursday plays were kind of brutal. Both Mark Andrews and Joe Burrow were injured early in the TNF game, both of whom now look to be out for the season (although Harbaugh seems to think Andrews might come back). It turned into a tit-for-tat situation for Packer Hater and Urban Achievers after that: Redman lost Achane after one run, Alex lost Walker after a few runs; Redman got only one catch from AJ Brown; Alex lost Kupp early in his matchup. In the end, Urban Achievers won the battle of attrition, 91.74 – 77.94, getting him one step closer to a playoff spot *and* a first-round bye.

The only thing keeping Red out of 2nd place was Puff’s Punishers, who ended a three-game skid with a big win this week. Opponents know they’re in trouble when the Punisher damn-near swept the top scorers at every position.

As for Puff’s opponent, Science Walrus saw his three-game winning streak come to a close. It was a good run for Brent — he had that team rolling — but the experiment is now over and it’s back to the drawing board.

Speaking of streaks, Growler Prowler now has a three-game winning streak of his own, doubling up Buzzystinger 142.32 – 70.14. The victory moves Scott into 5th place on the season, and with his horses starting to fire on all cylinders, this is a team no one wants to face down the stretch. As for Buzzy, he’s got a streak of his own going, losing his seventh game in a row. He’s also a team no one wants to face, if only because of the collateral damage involved.

Who’s that moving his way slowwwwwwly up the standings? Why, it’s my beloved QB Farm Team, lead to victory by none other than the consensus greatest-trade-in-TT-history, Brock Purdy. The win, 138.46 – 83.84 over The Analrapists, has given me the foolhardy notion it’s still possible to make the playoffs. Will it happen? Probably not. Regardless, my team of QB legends spanked Ted and sent him on his way down the standings, so it’s not all bad.

And bringing up the rear is league juggernaut, Evil Empire. Scotty certainly didn’t rest on his laurels after wrapping up a playoff spot last week. Nope, he went out there and demoralized ZaWood, 114.14 – 84.56. To add insult to injury, Evil Empire had enough bench points from four players to also score more than ZaWood’s 84 points! Thinking it’s time Zach comes up with a team name, as only one guy has the right to claim wood in this league, and that’s the damned Skeletor.

A couple notes before I close out the newsletter. First, keep an eye on your lineups going into Turkey Day. Lots of games with lots of big-name players, so don’t miss out before embarking on your turkey coma. And second, this is the final week to work your magic on the trade front. All trades will be locked for the season after MNF.

Best of luck in Week Twelve, fellas!

Andy