Two weeks in, and I have to ask: when will the madness end?!
No one would have been shocked to hear the LA Rams WR1 would be third overall in fantasy points at his position, if the name associated with those stats was Cooper Kupp. Instead, it’s…Puka Nacua?! Going 25 of 35 for 266 yards and 39.50 fantasy points in TWO GAMES is bonkers. Equally surprising is another Rams upstart, Kyren Williams, who is currently RB2 overall with 104 yards rushing, 50 yards receiving, and 4 total touchdowns through two games. Just like we all figured would happen, right?!
What happened to the guys we were counting on? How does Ja’marr Chase barely have ten points across two games? How is it possible Josh Jacobs rushed nine times for a total of -2 yards? And what about all these injuries, from guys like Diontae going to IR, Saquon tweaking an ankle and maybe being out for a couple weeks, or Chubb having his knee explode on MNF?!
It’s been a hell of a labyrinth to navigate already this season. Let’s move on to The Terrible Ten and find out who bested the Week Two obstacles, and who got battered around a bit.
Puff’s Punishers is still in pre-playoff form, exterminating Science Walrus, 141.48 – 115.28. The win moves Josh to 2-0, but it wasn’t without a cost; both Montgomery and Barkley are dinged up, joining Aaron Jones in the infirmary. As for Brent, he saw Tee Higgins wake up and score 24.90 for the week, but didn’t get much from anyone else on his way to 0-2.
Buzzystinger got rocked last week when ARodg went down for the season; on this week’s episode of Wheel of Fatality, Buzzy lost Cleveland’s favorite player, Nick Chubb, to a brutal knee injury. Despite the bad luck, Bryon put up enough points to win most weeks; unfortunately, this wasn’t “most weeks,” as Growler Prowler drowned the Bees, 142.80 – 124.48, then went on to celebrate his first win of the season with his one true love.
Let’s see…
*checks notes*
I think that’s all the 0-2 teams we hav—.
Oh wait, there’s one more. Last year’s co-champ, Packer Hater (2-0), absolutely crushed, destroyed, demolished, annihilated, beat down, and took it to the last 0-2 team, Urban Achievers. I mean, better days are ahead for the former champ — guys like Burrow, Chase, AJ Brown, Hall, and Etienne aren’t going to stay down forever — but I think we can all agree it’s fun to see Redman floundering.
I talk a lot of shit, but my team should definitely be among the ranks of 0-2 teams. I didn’t even pay attention to the games on MNF, being I needed a miracle of epic proportions to get the win. And wouldn’t you know it, the Fantasy Gods saw fit to shine their light upon me. Not only did Williams get hurt and Olave keep relatively quiet for The Analrapists, but George Pickens went bonkers for the QB Farm Team, ending a 9-game losing streak with a 103.76 – 100.44 victory. Take some of your own medicine, Analrapist!
As bad as that loss was, it pales in comparison to poor ZaWood. After starting the year with a victory last week, the Woodster exploded for 147.58 points in Week Two…only to lose to league juggernaut Evil Empire’s 154.84 points. Ugh. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the Empire offered this parting shot before retreating to his cave to plan for the next matchup.
Best of luck in Week Three, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 