Annnnnnd, we’re back. I trust you all had a nice Thanksgiving? I wasn’t feeling the hottest, but dug deep to help host my parents and a handful of our kids. It would take something pretty effin’ awful to keep me away from the dinner table when turkey, potatoes, stuffing, corn, dinner rolls, and pie are on the menu. My wife even snapped this pretty awesome pic of me and my lovely mum. Aww.
If Thanksgiving dinner isn’t to your liking, I have to assume the games satisfied your palate. Close NFL matchups with tense finishes made for great viewing; the avalanche of fantasy points was the icing on the cake. I myself was feeling pretty good after The Sun God netted me 23.40 points in his matchup. The problem is, Evil Empire was feeling even better after half his team got around 50 points on Turkey Day, and the rest of his squad kept on rolling to a squeaker of a victory, 98.74 – 97.80. It was a painful loss, not because I expected to win, but because it would have been fun to play spoiler (and give Redman a worse pick in the upcoming draft). So much for that aforementioned icing on the cake, dammit.
I mean, as bad as my team is, at least I didn’t play as poorly as Growler Prowler. With the exception of Lamar Jackson and a gonzo game from Miles Sanders on SNF, all of Scott’s players stayed in single digits. Not true for his opponent, Science Walrus, who got big points from multiple players, including Josh Jacobs’ monster 45.30 game. The end result was a laugher in favor of The Walrus, 141.16 – 89.10. *sigh* Another season pissed away by the former champ, his only high score being his BAC after every loss.
We did have a couple of honest-to-god battles this week, highlighted by the epic matchup between The Analrapist and Packer Hater. Both teams put up huge point totals (as well as left major points on their respective benches, making for some torturous second-guessing), but in the end it was the The Analrapist who needed therapy after The Hater violated him, 129.80 – 126.24. Safe to say Ted never saw that one coming. Oof.
Our other top matchup saw the Buzzmeister take down league-leader, Puffs’s Punishers, by a score of 117.26 – 108.98. While our standings remained unchanged after Week Twelve’s matchups, this game had some rather large implications attached. First, The Punishers stay in first place, but are now in a tie with Evil Empire record-wise (with Science Walrus and Packer Hater nipping at their heels); more crucial was Buzzy keeping pace with the playoff hopefuls, staying one game ahead of the bubble. Exciting times in the Terrible Ten, gents. It doesn’t get any better than this.
Case in point, there was yet again no excitement in ZaWood’s matchup. Twelve weeks into the season, and it was yet another loss for Mr. Wood. This time he bailed out a bruised and battered Urban Achievers, helping Redman keep his playoff hopes alive, 92.46 – 77.68. I don’t even know what to say about poor Zach anymore. He started the season under the assumption he was courting Lady Victory; these days, it appears there’s a new mistress in town.
Best of luck in Week Thirteen, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 