So, this week I need a little help from my leaguemates. I’ve been trying to figure out how this many points are possible…
When a QB only throws for this many yards each week?
Oh, wait. I think I found the answer when I scrolled to the right and looked at…rushing yards and TDs?!
Now, you’d think a team who has a QB scoring 40 points each week would be able to compete in this league, and normally you’d be correct. But this is Team Bedshitter we’re talking about here. You know, the guy who got a combined 1.7 points from his two starting running backs? As such, normalcy goes out the window, leaving The Analrapist with a 118.46 – 95.26 victory, leapfrogging Ted back into the playoff picture. Here’s hoping you enjoyed it, buddy, despite the mess The Bedshitter left you.
The team Ted jumped in the standings, the Urban Achievers, looked to have an easy road to victory after Packer Hater put up a lowly 86.64 points thanks to injuries to Kupp, Jeudy, and Fournette. But no, Redman missed a golden opportunity to sneak in another win during his injury-plagued season, falling to Alex 86.64 – 80.68. If only AJ Brown could have done something, ANYTHING, on MNF to close the gap…but no, there’s always someone letting Cody down.
The only good matchup of the week was ScienceWalrus vs Puff’s Punishers, pitting two of the league’s heavy hitters against one another. While Brent put up a massive score that would have crushed most of the Terrible Ten’s teams, Puff’s Punishers got back to its league-leading ways by also scoring big, pummeling the Walrus, 139.90 – 120.06. Brent’s squad went tumbling back down the standings and out of bye contention for now. As for Josh, well, he knows he has nothing to worry about…
Which leaves us with a couple of stinkers to close out the week. First, if you were watching Mr. Palmquist working free agency on Sunday, you would have figured he had some insider information — snagging McCoy in case Kyler was out, then changing his mind and dropping McCoy for Rams’ backup QB, Bryce Perkins, before finally deciding to roll with Indy QB Sam Ehlinger. One problem: Matt Ryan started for Indy on Sunday! From there the day got even worse as Buzzystinger left Growler Prowler in the dust, 99.30 – 59.00. A few years removed from his championship run, and with only four wins in the last couple seasons, Scott’s left to wonder where he’s gone wrong in a game that used to be so fun.
And last, of course, is ZaWood. Now, in theory, I shouldn’t rag on him much more than Growler Prowler because he only scored three fewer points than Scott. But unless I’m forgetting something, we damn near almost had our first *triple-up* this week when Evil Empire flexed his way to a 149.24 – 56.00 monkey-punching of ZaWood. Ten weeks in. Ten losses, most of them not even close. I figured it was time to call in a doctor and see if ZaWood can even live up to his namesake anymore. The results were not good, Zach. Not good at all.
Best of luck in Week Eleven, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 