Last week was such a disaster, and it started before any of the games kicked off. Hurricane Ian made landfall in southwest Florida, which was sad and scary for a couple of personal reasons. Selfishly, I’ll miss Fort Myers Beach, a place I vacationed at for years with my wife and kids. Below are some before-and-after pictures of a fishing pier and market area we frequented.
The resort we used, a few miles down the road from this area, was completely underwater on the ground level — pool, restaurant, bar, and rooms all gone. I can’t help but worry about the people we met while staying there, now out of a job and likely displaced.
Even scarier, my sister-in-law and her family moved from MN to Cape Coral one month ago, realizing a dream they’ve had for ages. They evacuated for a few days and are just now assessing damage. Somehow, they dodged a major bullet. While the exterior of their home is damaged (fence gone, pool damaged and filled with muddy water, shingles torn off), the water rose to just outside their front door before subsiding, saving the interior of the house. Most importantly, she and her family are safe.
Pivoting to less serious fare, it was a disastrous week for many teams in The Terrible Ten as well, myself included. Prior to my matchup with Science Walrus, I’d already received news that Amon-ra St. Brown, Michael Thomas, and Mac Jones were out. At game time, Alvin Kamara was moved to the inactive list. Most devastatingly, I found out late that DJ Chark would be unavailable.
Even so, I felt good with my backups. James Robinson, Jacoby Brisset, Michael Pittman, and Antonio Gibson had all put up huge points in weeks past, so no big whoop, right?
Not only did Science Walrus’ chosen lineup crush The Prince of Bell-Helaire, 117.10 – 92.62, but I don’t think Brent could have picked a lineup that could have lost to me. His starters scored big points. His bench warmers scored big points. Hell, his IR slots almost scored as much as Greg Dortch did!
I’m not the only one who’s feeling the burn. Take Evil Empire and Buzzystinger, for example. The two squads locked horns in an epic battle with Scott’s Empire squashing Bryon’s Buzz, 103.00 – 99.24, yet both are now dealing with injuries to their stars (Jonathan Taylor on one side, Cordarrelle Patterson on the other). Both teams are now 2-2 and in need of help at the RB position if they want to separate themselves from the logjam in the standings. Let me be the first to offer you some replacements, fellas! Come one, come all, to my used RB emporium. I’ve got CEH, I’ve got Harris, I’ve got Gibson. Step right up and have a look, don’t be shy, just grab those 2023 picks and make an offer!
But wait, there’s more! Remember Redman, he of the invincible dynasty team? Through a few weeks he’s seen traded players go bonkers on their new teams (Mike Williams, Trevor Lawrence, Amon-ra, etc) as well as generational players like Kyle Pitts get castrated by bad coaching and quarterback play. This week? Well, this week he not only grabbed his ankles for The Analrapist, losing 127.78 – 94.68, but he also lost Javonte Williams for the season to a torn ACL. The Urban Achievers are trying to remain stoic in the face of adversity, but the cracks in his facade are starting to show.
Perhaps the greatest catastrophe in the league is ZaWood, who had high hopes coming into the season but just can’t catch any breaks — a pervy QB suspended before the season begins; star running backs being injured; underperforming players in new situations; you name it, Zach’s dealt with it. He may have thought he had a chance at a win going against Growler Prowler (loser of 14 straight prior to last week), but Scott went right for the main vein and throttled it, 106.64 – 97.60, earning his second win in a row. ZaWood, now 0-4, is getting a little feisty as the league’s sharks start circling, penciling him in as an easy victory in upcoming weeks:
And last, it wasn’t an injury-fest for Packer Hater and Puff’s Punishers. Instead, we kind of got what Alex predicted prior to TNF:
Kind of fun to see Packer Hater get mouthy and bring the fight to his opponent. The only problem? You gotta back up the shit talk, something Alex wasn’t able to do despite the relatively high point total for the week. In the end, Puff’s Punishers machine-gunned the Hater, 134.90 – 109.28, keeping himself in first place and building upon his already massive Points For total. For now, Josh is definitely the king of the hill, and it’s looking like we might be screwed.
Best of luck in Week Five, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 