With weeks like that, it’s not hard to see why there are no undefeated teams left in the league. Touchdowns from the likes of Samaje Perine, KJ Osborn, and Laviska Shenault. Massive days from Khalil Herbert, Jamaal Williams, and Devin Singletary. What the hell is going on here?! Perhaps the best summarization I saw for Week Three was this one:
With weirdness like that, it takes a pretty savvy fantasy football player to navigate his roster and make the right activations. Someone special. Someone highly intelligent. Someone like…me! I mean, it should go without saying I was able to pick a lineup good enough to take down the vaunted Evil Empire, and that’s just what I did, 102.92 – 80.88. Now, despite what everyone thinks after the Oscars, The Prince of Bell-Helaire is not a bad guy. Why, just a couple days ago Scott said he wanted to forget about the humiliating loss, so I gave him the Tommy Lee Jones special. Here’s to a fresh start, brother.
Ok, so maybe I was being a little high on myself by touting how much intelligence was needed to win this past week. After all, Redman’s Urban Achievers pulled off a 113.58 – 78.70 beatdown on ZaWood, and really, how hard is that?! Try as he might this season, the Woodster has proven week after week that he is anything but hard.
Between last season and the start of this season, Puff’s Punishers had been on a tear. Our points leader had been hoping to keep the ball rolling and execute the pesky Buzzystinger, but it wasn’t meant to be as Bryon staved off a late surge by Saquon Barkley to secure a 112.24 – 106.76 victory. Watch yourselves going forward, fellas. It’s not always pretty when Buzzy gets in the ring, but that sumbitch comes to fight.
Like last year’s rebirth for Redman, I find myself enjoying the emergence of Packer Hater. It’s no easy feat to throw in the towel, do a major rebuild, and be competitive the following year. With a mix of solid rookies and elite veterans, Alex is doing his best to mimic Urban Achievers and push for the championship. If he can keep rolling like he did this week — cornholing The Analrapists, 114.18 – 94.60 — Alex will prove to be a tough out. As for Ted, well, his aim was a little off this week. Better luck next time, buddy.
And last, can we take a moment to acknowledge the end of an era? Last season, Growler Prowler lost his final eleven (11!) games, and despite making a number of offseason moves to improve his roster, Scott was 0-2 coming into this week. There’s not usually gimmes in fantasy football, but I have to imagine Science Walrus was feeling pretty good about his chances coming into Week Three.
Oops.
Not only did Growler Prowler break a thirteen-game losing streak, but he also did so pretty handily, 113.48 – 99.58. Congratulations, sir. The league (minus Brent) salutes your accomplishment.
Best of luck in Week Four, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 