At first it was kind of funny, an unexpected loss to yours truly that could be laughed off and moved on from. Then it almost made you wince when you saw the losses piling up. Now it’s borderline sad. Poor Science Walrus — whose roster showcases the creme de la creme of the league, a team people coveted for their own — has been absolutely decimated by injury and plain-old bad luck. Some weeks he could probably still sneak by with his deep bench, but not when he’s playing Puff’s Punishers. Josh made quick work of The Walrus, clubbing him 149.04 – 95.38 and moving to 6-0 on the season. Gotta give it to Brent for showing resiliency, but hopefully The Punisher didn’t KO his season for good this time.
Redman was also bit by the injury bug this past week, but in his case it’ll likely help rather than hinder. CEH has been a frustrating play to this point in his career, so him being on IR meant forcing Leonard Fournette into the Urban Achievers’ lineup. Nothing quite like getting 28 points on TNF football to get the week off on the right foot. Then again, playing Growler Prowler doesn’t hurt either. Last week Scott shot himself in the foot; this week it was just poor play all around. The result was a 112.66 – 76.26 victory for Redman, leaving The Prowler, a once proud organization, to make the walk of shame back to headquarters.
Last week saw the shattering of our league’s Weekly High Score record by the aforementioned Urban Achievers. I went on record saying it would be virtually impossible to beat almost 200 points…and a week later it almost happened, as Evil Empire trounced Team Tank, er, The Packer Haterz by a score of 185.38 – 70.84. The dominant win went a long way toward saving The Empire’s season, although Scotty still faces an uphill climb. I guess I find myself a little surprised that Osterloh didn’t rein in his horses before usurping my 2nd place spot on the all-time list. Must not have gotten the memo that I own all things 2nd place in this league?!
I guess I can celebrate moving into a tie for 2nd place record-wise after I squashed the upstart Buzzystinger, 134.26 – 111.58. It was a big win for my squad, who’d lived up to its name the past two weeks and bent over for 2 ina KHunt, 1 ina Hooper. It wasn’t looking good when Philly ran the ball *checks notes* one fucking time in the first half on TNF, but the rest of my squad came slamming home on Sunday, led by my sweet Murray-Hopkins stack. Take that, vermin!
The only thing keeping me away from outright 2nd place is that pervy Analrapist, who finally met a unit that turned the tables on Ted’s sodomy. His matchup with ZaWood was the only one with a glimmer of hope going into MNF (only 95% projected for Zach as opposed to the 99-100% for the rest of the matchups), but Ted just couldn’t get his hands around the Woodster when it mattered most…not that Zach minded the effort of Mr. Tegen’s bumbling.
Best of luck in Week Seven, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 