Sunday, October 3, 2021.
A day every football fan marked on their calendar. Two giants of the game were set to square off, competitors who’ve known each other for decades, able to exploit weaknesses that others with less experience wouldn’t know about. A true clash of the titans. No regular-season game in recent memory has had as much hype as the one we witnessed this past weekend.
I am, of course, talking about Puff’s Punishers vs 2 ina KHunt, 1 ina Hooper. Who the hell’d you think I was building up?!
While Josh held up his end of the bargain, turning in a GOAT-like performance in Week Four, I looked like Justin Fields against the Cleveland Defense: completely and utterly unprepared for the matchup. The result was an embarrassing 162.98 – 95.58 thrashing, dropping me to 3-1 while the Punishers remain the sole undefeated team in the league. As reiterated in Red’s Power Rankings, Josh is a cut above the rest of us at the moment. That being said, at least the two studs I paid four picks for showed they can keep me in the mix going forward.
At least my season hasn’t been quite as embarrassing as the Walrus’, who just dropped his third game in a row, 113.78 – 116.96, after even *more* players came up lame. I’d comment more on his abomination of a season, but I couldn’t possibly do better than Redman did in his comments earlier this week. Instead, I’d like to offer my congrats to ZaWood, who *finally* got a much-needed win. Is this the start of a rise through the rankings?
Back in early September, if I told you to offer up Week Four records for Evil Empire and Buzzystinger, I’m guessing you may have come up with 3-1 and 1-3…but I’m also guessing you would have placed them against the wrong teams. Buzzystinger is doing his best to become king of this hive, downing the Empire 127.68 – 122.04, while Scott’s squad has been as inept as a one of those silly stormtroopers he continues to employ.
Another team that continues to surprise is The Analrapists, who moved to 3-1 on the season after pillaging The Prowler 109.20 – 96.84. The loss, which moves Scott to 2-2, is the third time this season he’s failed to break the 100-point mark. Now, I’m not one to tell a guy how to handle his business, especially when it’s the league’s elder statesman, but I think it might be time to lay off the sauce, don’t you, Mr. Palmquist?
Last, it’s time to address the Urban Achievers. I, uh….*mouth fart*….I’m kind of at a loss for words. On paper, The Packer Haterz is probably the worst team in the league, having unloaded Cook and Woods in the preseason, and then trading away another pair of assets — Hopkins and Sanders — prior to this week’s matchup. Alex has his eye squarely fixed on the future, yet somehow earned his first win of the season, 106.16 – 98.94, with a depleted roster. What happened to Mike Williams on MNF? Why is Red still trotting out OBJ years after relevancy? Why does Cody think he’s 7th overall in the Power Rankings? Whyyyyyyyyy?!?!
Reminder that we have our first early-morning London game this week, so plan accordingly. Best of luck in Week Five, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 