Well, lookie what we have here! Redman was kind enough to grace us with his 2021 Power Rankings. Even better, he created a cryptoquip that confused some of you with his allusions (which made it twice as funny for me). I’ve moved his essay from our group chat to the blog so it can be immortalized forever *and* so our faithful fans from abroad can relish in the greatness that is The Terrible Ten.
Here’s how Redman sees the league in 2021:
1. Craig Stadler — So much firepower, what could possibly go wrong? Besides, of course, an endless string of overthinking and starting the wrong guys.
2. RATM’s Sophomore Album — People seem to be sleeping on the reigning champ. Rock solid starting lineup. Possible issue with depth much the same as…
3. Sean Combs — Made a win-now move that makes his lineup potentially dominant. Must avoid the injury bug to realize his potential.
Would be shocking if the trophy isn’t brought home by one of the above. The rest of us seem to be in a logjam well behind these top dogs and will need to fight for the final three playoff spots with the hope of a miracle run to the chip. Anything can happen and that’s why you play the games, as they say.
4. Jug Stalker — Solid lineup with some real horses. Don’t count out the former champ. (Note: Due to the Carr trade, I will be playing with a Scott voodoo doll this season in the hopes of more valuable picks.)
5. The Erection — A roster that could surprise. As with most teams in this area, depth could be an issue. Watson would help tremendously but that seems to be wishful thinking at this point.
6. Murder Hornets — After fleecing me for Henry with his bullheaded negotiating tactics, there could be some “buzz” around this team. Desperately need Gordon to hold off the rook and be a viable option.
7. Delusional Doormat — Had to put myself somewhere and even though I’m convinced I should be at #1, I’ll slot my squad in at #7. Way too young and need a ton to go my way but if you think about it, I really just need like ten rookies to have Pro Bowl caliber seasons to be in the mix. I have confidence I can be competitive this season. I had that same confidence going into last season.
8. Packer Fan #1 — The pieces were in place for a dark horse run before jettisoning Cook. Solid group here but questions at QB will likely leave this Aaron Rodgers lover wondering what could have been.
9. Both an Analyst and a Therapist — With a potential breakthrough season on the horizon for Tua and a promising new signal caller added to his squad, things are looking up for the Analrapist. Not to mention having the Tampa and Minnesota passing games on lock. There is a lot to like here but this roster still could use a few more horses. Still, Ted showed us last year he is capable of an improbable run to the playoffs. (Beating me by .02 certainly helped. .02? Really?)
10. Butt Play — Let’s be honest: Andy sucks and he deserves his spot in the cellar. I will give him no credit for anyone on his roster and assume he’s already thinking of a way to trade Kyler for a used puck bag and a half-eaten sandwich. Everyone please join me in hoping he gets last place. At least if he does he’ll have the number 1 pick right?
As you can tell by my notes celebrity apology format, I am not as tech savvy as one should be in this day and age but this will have to do. Andy, feel free to copy paste to word press for our international fan club. Good luck this year fellas.
Copy and pasted, sir. Thanks again for the write-up!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 