Figured I better finish this thing off before the season starts tomorrow, or it would never get done. Ready? Let’s go!
The Analrapists
1.06 – Zach Wilson, QB (NYJ)
2.06 – Kenneth Gainwell, RB (PHI)
3.10 – Chuba Hubbard, RB (CAR)
It seems like the least-surprising pick of the draft – Ted, always desperate at QB, taking Zach Wilson off the board at 1.06 – but would you believe he and I were a sliver away from an epic CMC trade in that spot?! I forget what caused it to be pulled back — likely something Redman did at 1.05 — but Ted probably made the better move by adding some much-needed QB depth to his roster (he also snagged Jacoby Brissett for pennies on the dollar in a trade with The Evil Empire, adding Tua’s backup to his lineup).
With hindsight available to us all these months later, it looks like Ted also drafted well by selecting Kenneth Gainwell and Chuba Hubbard, both of whom appear to have locked up RB2 roles on their respective teams after they had solid preseasons. Odds are Hubbard won’t see much action unless something happens to CMC again, but sounds like Gainwell has done enough that he might share a little time with Sanders? Either way, to get value later in the draft, especially at 3.10, is a job well done.
Draft Grade: B
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Science Walrus
1.04 – Justin Fields, QB (CHI)
2.04 – Mac Jones, QB (NE)
3.04 – Kadarius Toney, WR (NYG)
If Redman hadn’t been such a greedy bastard, Brent would have had the best draft this season. I’m pretty sure he came into the draft with no picks, or if he did, they were late-round garbage. A few minutes into draft day a complete shocker was announced – Brent had dumped Stafford and Reagor for 1.02. This pick was then parlayed into 1.04, 2.04, and 3.04 in a trade with Alex. Brent was able to attain big-name players at each pick, getting all of them at good value based on how players were sliding in the draft.
As if that wasn’t enough, post-draft Brent was able to trade Justin Fields for star QB Josh Allen (sorry, guys) and Mac Jones for a future 1st rounder (a move that leaned in Brent’s favor when Cam was still the starter in NE, but has since proven to be a value pickup for Growler Prowler now that Jones is starting). Pair that with moves last season to add CMC, Zeke, and Chubb to his already powerful roster, and Brent’s proven to be the team to beat in the short-term. Guessing most weeks his bench will outscore some of us, let alone his starters. Well done, sir. Well done indeed.
Draft Grade: A
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Two ina KHunt, One ina Hooper
2.07 – Michael Carter, RB (NYJ)
2.09 – Terrace Marshall, WR (CAR)
Those of you who’ve read my draft report cards in the past know that I routinely give myself the best grade in the league. Every. Single. Year. Just kind of my thing. But those report cards are written in redraft leagues where I can usually hide the flaws by talking up the studs I drafted. This rookie shit makes it tough to turn the spotlight elsewhere, so, uh…..yeah. My draft. I came into it with only a late 3rd rounder and came away with two 2nd round picks. Not too shabby, right?
Well, they got pretty expensive, costing a 2nd and 3rd in one case, and a 2023 1st in another case. Truthfully, I have high hopes for Marshall in Carolina. I think he can be a stud, assuming Darnold can deliver the ball to him. Nothing I saw in the preseason dissuaded me from those feelings, as he put up big yardage each week and caught much of what was thrown his way. Michael Carter, on the other hand, has me wringing my sweaty hands. He’s been anywhere from RB2 to RB4 on the depth chart. In New York. On a team that hasn’t put it together in a long, long time. I reached, and may have whiffed. Time will tell, I guess.
(Giving myself the minus because I actually drafted Carter *before* Marshall, which is almost as dumb as Pearce trading 1.02, but not quite.)
Draft Grade: C-
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Growler Prowler
1.10 – Trey Sermon, RB (SF)
4.01 – Davis Mills, QB (HOU)
4.07 – Dez Fitzpatrick, WR (TEN)
Our 2019 champ came into the draft with some holes to fill, having lost Brees to retirement (and apparently Taysom Hill to a QB competition with Jameis Winston) and lacking depth at the RB position. Palmquist moved up into the first round to grab Trey Sermon, who seems to be well-regarded and played well in the preseason. The only cause for concern here is that SF loves its running-back-by-committee scheme, so it’s tough to tell how many carries Sermon will see from week to week. I also like the move of adding Mills in the 4th. It’s a dart throw, but a nice play considering how up-in-the-air Houston’s QB situation is now that Watson is out.
Post-draft Palmquist further added some QB depth by spending future 1st rounders on Derek Carr (meh) and Mac Jones (interesting), but being we’re only grading the draft itself, I have to roll with…
Draft Grade: C
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The Evil Empire
2.10 – Dyami Brown, WR (WAS)
3.06 – Kellen Mond, QB (MIN)
4.06 – Tutu Atwell, WR (LAR)
Reigning champ, The Evil Empire, didn’t make a huge splash in the draft. I think Brown and Atwell are some interesting WR prospects, but both are buried on their respective depth charts and likely won’t do much early in the season (Brown having an inside track if Samuel continues missing time in WAS). Mond also strikes me as a HUGE project that won’t see the field anytime soon. But, in true Scotty form, The Evil Empire set its sights on the future, picking up a couple of 2023 1st rounders from chumps like me who wanted to get into this year’s draft. Not much here to help him compete with the likes of Science Walrus and The Punishers in 2021, but he certainly has the ability to buy talent midseason if he keeps pace with the odds-on favorites in the league.
Draft Grade: B-
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One more day till the season starts. Best of luck in Week One!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 