Before the season started, I figured it would be pandemonium from week to week as the virus worked itself across the league. Frankly, I’m stunned it took so long for it to happen, but Week Twelve finally showed us what a cluster things could be. Ravens-Steelers got bounced from Thursday to Sunday to Monday to Tuesday to (maybe?) Wednesday. Individual players like Adam Thielen were put on the Covid reserve list. And the most gonzo circumstance of all was when the Broncos were forced to play the game without a QB! The team went so far as to petition the league to let one of their coaches play the game (which was short-sighted…think of the ratings if they’d brought Elway back for one last hurrah?! Couldn’t have done worse than Hinton’s 1 of 9 for 13 yards and 2 INT’s). This, THIS, is what I was expecting to deal with, and it was interesting to watch the scramble throughout the long weekend.
You know what wasn’t great? Watching my effin’ team shit the bed for the fourth time in five weeks. Apparently The Analrapists didn’t get the memo that I wanted one of the playoff byes and they should continue with their low-scoring ways. Instead, Ted crucified my Christians, 117.10 – 83.28, all in the name of making his own playoff run. Now the selfish jerk has left me in a *very* compromising position.
The loss gave Brent the opportunity to position himself for the second playoff bye, and he took full advantage of it, doubling up Alex, 128.44 – 60.92. Because this week is still up in the air at the time of this writing, it’s tough to know how strong ScienceWalrus’ grasp is on second place. One thing seems fairly certain, though: The Wiz’s weaksauce effort shows his staff has lost its potency down the stretch.
Speaking of staves, Skeletor showed he knew how to handle his piece, starting with Fuller’s magical (read: cheating like a mofo) effort on Turkey Day and overcoming Redman’s answered plea to Derrick Henry for a 127.06 – 95.24 victory. Cody has the off-season to relish being #1 (in the draft); The Evil Empire, on the other hand, gets to celebrate having a freebie in the first round.
Next up, I think it’s safe to say the Punishers have not only won the week but also exterminated Buzzystinger from the playoffs. I guess Josh can take pride in his team getting back on track for a few wins late in the season? Likewise, I guess Bryon can be happy his team improved from his lackluster performance last year and was in the playoff hunt until the bitter end? All that being said, you both suck and we thank you for contributing to the prize pool.
And last, we have an interesting situation awaiting some finality after WAFM (Wednesday Afternoon Football [Maybe?!]). As of now, ZaWood has a 4-point lead over Growler Prowler, but the champ still has Claypool playing. Assuming this game actually happens (and it appears to be all-systems-go at this point), the consensus is Growler Prowler will get 4 points from Claypool and move into 3rd place, keeping pace with Brent for one of the playoff byes. If Covid rears its ugly head again or the Ravens can shut down Claypool, Zach would get a much-needed win for his playoff push. Lots on the line for these two clubs. Fun to have some edge-of-your-seat action to finish off this wacky week!
We’re almost there, fellas. One more week until playoff time, a shiny trophy, and some cold hard cash. Best of luck in Week Thirteen!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 