What a weird week of football! Nearly half of the league’s quarterbacks — 14, to be exact — threw for less than 200 yards. Some of them were still able to put up big days thanks to rushing yards and TDs, but the majority sunk their FF owners with low scores, which in turn led to abysmal games from their wide receivers. Talk about collateral damage!
I wish I could blame my first loss of the season on my QBs and WRs, but with the exception of Kyler Murray, no one on my team came to play. It seems that Growler Prowler, with his 104.14 – 88.50 victory, has proven yet again to be my kryptonite in this league, going all the way back to last year’s krushing of my Kupp in the Super Bowl. Mercy, Palmquist, mercy!
My loss left the gates of Castle Grayskull slightly ajar and the mighty Skeletor kicked that sumbitch wide open with a 120.04 – 102.74 triumph over Alex, vaulting the Evil Empire into first place. Upon seizing control of the league, Skeletor first had his way with The Wiz’s remains…
…then climbed atop the rampart and let everyone know who the new boss is.
But wait, there’s even more excitement! Somehow, some way, despite scoring the fewest points in the league and having no Chubb, Ted took sole control of the third-place slot in the league via a 102.32 – 72.14 swatting of Buzzystinger. As we collectively reel at this news, we’re left to ask: is the Analrapist for real…
And the good times just keep coming as our next matchup featured the league’s bottom dwellers. After consummating a massive deal that shipped Julio and the wisely-acquired Andy Dalton to the Evil Empire, it appeared Redman was embracing his last-place status. His biggest concern going forward should have been who to cut to make room for Trevor Lawrence next spring, but a funny thing happened on the way to 1.01 — his team erupted for 127.34 points and punched the Punishers…INTO LAST PLACE!
And last, the ScienceWalrus had a nice week but got thumped by ZaWood, 144.78 – 112.78, earning the high score of the week and moving him to the top of the 3-3 teams. I’m telling you, that Zach is a tough beat, man. Every time you think he’s down, the guy just keeps bouncing right back up.
Best of luck in Week Seven, fellas!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 