While it appears our extra roster spot and expanded IR slots will go to good use this season, it’s got nothing to do with Covid-19 to this point. The injury bug is alive and well, proving to be as fearful and pesky as those damned Murder Hornets from earlier in the year. Barkley, CMC, Sutton, Lock, Michael Thomas, Godwin, Davante Adams, Jimmy G, and Raheem Mostert are just a few of the names that are down-and-out, and that’s only on the offensive side of the ball; defensive players have been decimated with equal frequency. It appears an already-difficult season will be made even harder if something doesn’t change.
You know what else is hard? Scoring a gaudy 160 points…and still losing your effin’ matchup. I wouldn’t have believed it was possible, but that’s exactly what happened as Two Christians, One Kupp took down the Evil Empire by a score of 169.62 – 160.78. It looked like Darren Waller was gonna get Scotty over the top with his 16 (!!) targets, but it just wasn’t meant to be. Scott took it in stride when I talked to him after the game, but the hidden camera in his office tells no lies…
Dammit, Bryon. I built you up last week in your losing effort. I said nice things about you. I even gave you an Annie gif! And how do you repay me? With a 146.98 – 96.78 dud against Brent’s ScienceWalrus, that’s how! I mean, I could be the lone undefeated team in this league, but nooooooooo. Of all the selfish moves. Ugh!
Despite a tough week that brought about ridicule and poetry over his Chubb, as well as failing to put in a sub for Tyrod Taylor, Ted’s Analrapists still found a way to get past The Champ, beating Growler Prowler 102.86 – 86.94. It appears I may be writing an addendum to his QB quandary sooner rather than later – Herbert looked pretty damned solid in relief – but for now, there is victory to celebrate.
And then we come to Redman. I, uh….I don’t even know what to say here. I mean, we had an OBJ sighting on Thursday Night Football, and with 15 points under his belt, it looked like a promising weekend was on tap for Cody. Boy was I wrong, as evidenced by his nearly getting doubled up by Zach, 134.28 – 70.50. Blame some of it on the Underachievers being hit hard by injury. Blame some of it on the ambiguity around Fournette’s role after the late trade. In the end, I think we know where the lion’s share of the blame goes, don’t we, Red?
And last, Josh’s Punishers were able to get a win against Alex’s Packer Haterz, 132.98 – 120.12, bringing both teams to 1-1 on the season. The win was a costly one for Josh, as he lost Barkley for the season; as for Alex, he’s just about to enter Ted Territory with his QB situation. For the love of God, man, square it away soon. I can’t keep coming up with rhymes!
Best of luck in Week Three, gents!
Andy
The Terrible Ten 