To QB, or not to QB: that is the question.
Past experience in redraft tells you
To wait, be patient, don’t you see?
There is value in waiting for players
Like Jameis and Trubisky.
Thy picking’s done, the dust settled,
And you’re about to gloat over text,
But cold sweat breaketh out when
you realize: “Oh shit, this is Superflex!”
Sobering truth washes
Over thine previous ecstasy,
As realization strikes like a slap to thine face:
“These two guys anchor my dynasty.”
“I did not choose to QB.”
The games commenceth, and you hope
For visits from Lady Luck;
After all, this is the inaugural season and
you don’t wisheth to look the dumbfuck.
When “Hark! Upon the horizon,
What is it I see?
Is it possible I’ve found someone
Even dumber than me?!”
“Why yes, it is true,
Oh my word, oh my gosh!
A first-round pick for Trubisky
From a dopey player named Josh!”
“A blessed day, to be sure,
To be rid of such trash!”
Surely Winston will work out, and
Thine trade proven not brash.
For now, truly, you did not choose to QB.
Much time has passed,
And in case thy memory is fuzzy,
You finished second-to-last,
Coming in just behind Buzzy.
The one-quarterback method
was not the right play,
But help was forthcometh,
During draft time in May.
“I can turn this around,
And fix up this poo,
By selecting Tua Tagovailoa
With pick one-dot-oh-two.”
“And how the sun shineth,
Bestowing favor upon me,
When I selected Jarrett Stidham
Later on in Round Three!”
“Now, my friends, now I chose to QB.”
But the story’s not finished,
Thine draft made a sham,
When Stidham was dumped
Hence the signing of Cam.
And while Tua’s future is bright,
The short-term is tragic;
Wouldn’t you just know it?
He was benched for Fitzmagic.
The season was starting,
Thine anger was fierce;
You would have been fucked
Had thy not been saved by Pearce.
Rather than leaving you barren,
With your hand on thine rod;
My cousin did the unthinkable
By dropping Tyrod.
“I will use all my FAAB and choose to QB!”
This poem’s almost over,
But for one final flub;
It came a few days ago,
When you traded away Chubb.
You replaced him with Kelley,
A running back who is new;
And finally got a second starting quarterback:
The Mustache Man – Gardner Minshew.
Have you added enough?
Over time, we’ll all see;
If your moves answered the question:
To QB or not to QB?
The Terrible Ten 