May 1, 2020
Day Fifty-Something of Quarantine
My video therapist tells me to start with the positives, so, let’s see here. Um. Oh! During homeschooling I used my empty beer cans to help the kids count by twelves. That was a hit. And, uh, I finally have a new pair of boxers on (never mind that the old pair literally walked themselves off my body, unable to take the stench any longer). And last, I’ve become such a fatfuck I was hired to replace that one guy in the Ghostbusters reboot.
No, not that fatfuck. The other one.
Yup, life is good…
Welcome back to The Terrible Ten, gents! I’ll start with apologies for the radio silence this offseason. All the hubbub of the past few months has taken a toll on my time (and sanity, as evidenced above). Instead of writing wildly entertaining look-backs at how awful my 2019 preseason picks were, I’m elbow deep in “homeschooling” five kids, with a sixth little rascal running around for good measure. I never thought I’d utter the following sentence, but I mean it with absolute sincerity: I cannot wait for summer break to get here.
Quarantine and Covid aside, we have a lot of business to conduct.
First and foremost, our draft is a week away, starting at 10AM CT on Saturday, May 9th. For those new to this format, the supplemental draft is NOT a snake draft; instead, the rounds are linear like the NFL draft. Because it doesn’t appear that Sleeper allows for the draft to be automatically paused overnight, I’m turning off the time limit between picks for now. That being said, I’m hoping people will be engaged enough in the process that this doesn’t take weeks or months to conduct. By all means, take time to negotiate a deal that moves you up a few slots to get the player you want or down a few slots to stockpile more picks. But if someone ghosts the draft for a full day, I’ll probably move things along by changing back to an 8-hour limit between picks. Last, the draft pool not only includes rookies, but also anyone from the free agent pool. I can’t imagine anyone wants to waste a first rounder on Alfred Morris’ 8th comeback, but far be it from me to prevent it if you do.
Last season, notifications seemed pretty solid for everything OTHER than trades. No idea if things have gotten any better, so if you’re trying to work out a deal, you may want to drop someone a Sleeper note or text message to let them know you sent something. Also, if someone sends you a trade offer during the draft period, please reject it if you know you’re not interested. That way the draft isn’t held up by someone waiting for a response.
My admin options are very limited prior to the draft. Once we finish up, I’ll go back through the settings and get us ready for the upcoming season. You should still be able to trade post-draft, but I won’t turn on waivers until we get closer to the pre-season (assuming there is one).
This year you’ll notice the toe fungus ads are finally gone. I also got us our own domain separate from WordPress. You can now get to this site via TheTerribleTenFFL.com. Tell your friends and family! They may as well join the goofballs from overseas that read this trash.
Let’s talk trophies, shall we? I’ve got a couple of ideas. First, we could do a perennial league trophy. An example would be something like this:
This trophy would last 19 seasons (we could only be so lucky), passing from winner to winner each year.
The other option would be smaller, individual trophies that each season’s winner would keep forever. That way you can remember your one-and-done greatness for an eternity, a la Palmquist last season.
I’ll take care of the cost of trophies and engraving. All I need from you is a vote. I’ll put a poll on the Sleeper app and we’ll go with majority rule. My opinion is obviously the best one, but this ain’t no dictatorship, man.
Once we sort out how to memorialize the champ, I’ll add a poll on potentially embarrassing the annual chump. I’ve always wanted to try a punishment for last place, so we’ll put it up for a vote. It wouldn’t be anything crazy like those d-bags that get tattoos every year. It could be as silly as putting this on the loser’s car every year:
I think we’ll call that good for now. I hope this note finds you well, and that you and your loved ones are safe and healthy. I thank you for being a part of this league. The world is a crazy place right now, but I think a little distraction is what we all need to get through, whether it’s a new show to watch, a good book to read, or yes, even a rookie draft with nine other football dorks.
Have a nice weekend.
Andy
The Terrible Ten 