My apologies for the two weeks of radio silence, fellas. I hated to put the newsletters on the back burner, but it had to be done. Can’t say these remaining newsletters will be very funny (if they ever were), but it’s playoff time, baby! Can’t let these weeks slip by without building up our postseason…and certainly can’t waste an opportunity to use the best football gif of all-time.
Getting us up to date, Bryon, Ted, Cody, and Osterloh all missed the playoffs. I think I speak for everyone in the Top Six when I say “Thank you for your contribution, and worst of luck next year, chumps.”
After starting the season 10-1, Josh’s team shit the bed down the stretch, losing the top seed. It wasn’t all bad — the second seed still gets a bye — but the finish left a lot to be desired, Pearce.
Which means that I assumed my rightful place atop The Terrible Ten, finishing with a 10-3 record, almost 100 points more than the second place team, and 450 points more than the putrid Buzzystinger. Hell, yeah!
Which leaves us with our Week 14 matchups.
The hottest team in the league (other than yours truly, heh-heh-heh) was Palmquist’s Growler Prowlers, ripping off five straight victories to close the regular season. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Brent’s Science Walrus lost three straight games by scoring only 70 points in each contest, backing his way into the playoffs. Seems like the perfect scenario for the hot team to fall apart and let the worst-seeded team attain a victory, right?!
The Growler Prowler put the Walrus out of its damned misery, 131.96 – 91.34, punching his ticket to the semifinals before whiling away the rest of his night with a few beers and a Walrus who’s actually got game.
Our second matchup pitted the The Wiz against The Wood. Neither team finished strong — Alex lost three in a row, while Zach lost four of five — so it appeared to be a toss up.
In the end, Alex picked the right week to go off, scoring a season high 138.18 against Zach’s 114.58, squashing the League-based squad before riding off into the sunset with the Shiva.
Semifinal matchups start tonight with two great battles — Puff’s Punisher’s (2) against the red-hot Growler Prowlers (3); and a grudge match for the ages, pitting my Two Christians, One Kirk (1) against The Wiz (4)!
Er, wait a sec.
Yeah, that’s better.
Andy
The Terrible Ten 