I open this essay by offering a heartfelt “I’m sorry” to Brent. This will be the third year we’ve played fantasy football together. Until this offseason I managed to spell his name correctly without fail. In the past 8 months I’ve managed to fuck it up multiple times, using “Brett” in its place. You see, I only know one Brett and one Brent, and both of them happen to be in fantasy leagues I’ve played in. It’s a sorry-assed excuse, so I thank you for your patience with me, sir. You deserve better, and I will keep working on it.
Onward to the report card!
Brandt (ScienceWalrus)
Strongest Position(s): WR and QB
Things look damned good when an owner gathers a potent trifecta like Evans, Cooper, and Cooks, and that’s exactly what Britt has done here. While he didn’t draft many more WR’s to further strengthen the position, he does have one serviceable backup and two rookies to turn to if needed.
Speaking of trios, I really like what Burt did with his quarterbacks, snagging the hottest QB prospect in recent years (Mayfield) and coupling him to two solid veterans with plenty of fuel left in the tank (Wilson and Stafford). It might have been nice to have one more option in a Superflex league, but that’s a minor quibble and not worth worrying about right now.
Weakest Position(s): RB
Phew. With as stacked as Bart is at WR and QB, he’s the polar opposite at RB. I love Jacobs in the long-term, but at this point he’s unproven at the NFL level. After that it’s a wasteland of backups and players on the bubble, and if ScienceWalrus ends up getting bounced from the playoffs, it’ll likely be because of a lack of depth at the position.
Best Value: Trade with Andy
Sure, I used my picks from Brett to snag Zeke and what eventually became Kareem Hunt (as well as some other jockeying around), but Bogart ended up with Amari Cooper, Brandin Cooks, and a 2020 first rounder from our deal. Not. Bad. At. All.
Eyebrow Raiser: Ronald Jones
Other than Jones himself, no one wants him to succeed more than I do. Trust me on this one. So the idea that Beaumont spent a pick, ANY pick, on such a wild card makes me shake my head. A small part of me thinks he might see a bright, shining future for the RB; the larger part of me thinks Mr. Fjord is just fucking with me.
Sleeper: Dallas Goedert
It’s my opinion that Goedert is going to be a star at some point. Case in point: despite being a rookie and playing alongside Zach Ertz, he still managed almost 350 yards and 4TDs, placing him in TE2 territory. He also averaged over 10 yards per catch. If ever there was a TE handcuff, Goedert is first in line to make a difference.
Second Least Shocking Pick in the History of Fantasy Football: Corey Davis
Hey, we all have our FF man-crushes. Mine are Landry and Kirk; Redman’s is Julio; Bryant’s is Corey Davis. A talented receiver, to be sure, but stuck on a horseshit TN team (thus, not delivering as much as he could elsewhere). Might there be another reason Barrett likes him so much?
Overall Score: B+
Of the five teams I’ve graded so far, this is the one I struggled with the most. If Bennett had even one more strong, dependable RB, I would have put his team in the A range. But, even though the rest of the team is rock solid, I can’t ignore the Achilles heel of this squad. Hopefully the 2020 draft will give his ball carriers a much-needed boost.
p.s. I’m sure a day will come when making fun of myself at Benedict’s expense will finally lose its luster.
Maybe?
Nahhhhhh!
The Terrible Ten 