At first it was kind of funny, an unexpected loss to yours truly that could be laughed off and moved on from. Then it almost made you wince when you saw the losses piling up. Now it’s borderline sad. Poor Science Walrus — whose roster showcases the creme de la creme of the league, a … More 2021 Week Six Recap

Hmm. What to do, what to do? Should I leave Redman’s blurb until last, making him wait for it as long as possible? Should I just ghost him with something like “Redman won…moving right along, how about The Walrus’ huge win in Week Five?!”, thereby giving him short shrift? God, that’d be awesome. I can … More 2021 Week Five Recap

Sunday, October 3, 2021. A day every football fan marked on their calendar. Two giants of the game were set to square off, competitors who’ve known each other for decades, able to exploit weaknesses that others with less experience wouldn’t know about. A true clash of the titans. No regular-season game in recent memory has … More 2021 Week Four Recap

One month of football is in the books, and Redman is back to regale us with his updated power rankings. How have things changed in the past four weeks? Read on to see where you landed! 1. Josh’s Collection of Dildos That He Named: Thomas Jane, Ray Stevensen, and Jon Bernthal (Up 2 Spots) Give … More 2021 Power Rankings, Part Deux

I’m starting this week’s newsletter with a bit of a tangent. I recently succumbed to all the praise I’d heard about Apple TV’s hit show, Ted Lasso. I’m only a handful of episodes into the series, but fully understand — and agree with — the love that’s been heaped upon it. Maybe the easiest way … More 2021 Week Three Recap

If I had any class whatsoever, I’d just write a nice introduction to the weekly newsletter, run through the scores in a factual manner, wish you all good luck in Week Three, and not call special attention to my matchup. If I had any class. Yeah. Remember that cute little guest essay Redman wrote for … More 2021 Week Two Recap

I can’t speak for teams that actually have good players on them, but my Sleeper notifications on Sunday looked more like an infirmary roster than a highlight reel. Each time my phone beeped I thought I’d be seeing a big play, only to read the name of the latest player to bite the dust. Injuries … More 2021 Week One Recap

Well, lookie what we have here! Redman was kind enough to grace us with his 2021 Power Rankings. Even better, he created a cryptoquip that confused some of you with his allusions (which made it twice as funny for me). I’ve moved his essay from our group chat to the blog so it can be … More 2021 Power Rankings

Figured I better finish this thing off before the season starts tomorrow, or it would never get done. Ready? Let’s go! The Analrapists 1.06 – Zach Wilson, QB (NYJ) 2.06 – Kenneth Gainwell, RB (PHI) 3.10 – Chuba Hubbard, RB (CAR) It seems like the least-surprising pick of the draft – Ted, always desperate at … More 2021 Rookie Draft Report Card (Part 2)

What better time to review The Terrible Ten Rookie Draft than, um, almost four months after the fact!? LET’S GO!!! My apologies for the delay. It proved to be a long summer. We sold our house (had 20+ showings in the first 24 hours, and sold it the day after we listed it) and moved … More 2021 Rookie Draft Report Card (Part 1)